While Linus waited for the Great Pumpkin, he thought of the future world he would bring back. Sally would heed his authority and stop her “Sweet Babboo” nonsense, and that girl who sits behind him in class would know that his blanket was a real man’s tool and signifier of his male virility. Peppermint Patty and Marcy would take their unnatural “relationship” behind closed-doors. And forget that low-T, Beta Male Charlie Brown…
Linus will finally have everything America’s Found Fathers promised him.